I feel a bit strange. Not strange good, but not strange bad either.
Woke up with Bellatrix next to me; she's adorable. She makes me smile every time I look at her.
I got up and gave my mummy her Mothers Day badge! And I made her wear it while we were tidying the house up.
We had to thoroughly tidy everything and make sure all of the radiators are accessible because we've got some guys from British Gas (TRAITOR I KNOW?!) coming to play with our radiators and boiler.
I strangely enjoyed sorting through all the "stuff" we had lying around.
Cleaning is like detoxing.
Everything feels lighter in the house now.
It wasn't all good though; but that's life and it's inevitable.
I went to Curry's which I enjoyed because the Tech Guys in there like me. And then I went into Pet's At Home to see if there was anything in there I needed to get for Bella.
I also called Russ and we talked about having attachments to fish and other animals, and how I thought it was strange that I cried when my fish died.
I discovered that he has premonitory abilities; he predicted when his gecko was going to die. SADFACE.
I feel I may be slightly over estimating his abilities, however it interested me nonetheless.
It was lush driving today. It was so sunny.
I literally threw on some comfies, no make up, sunnies on, hair a mess and just drove in the sunshine. I love driving in this weather.
Music blaring.
When I got back a few good things came to light.
Things were said.
Things that needed to be said.
And plans were made. Exciting but slightly nerve-racking plans.
I will only look forward.
After all the tidying was done I chilled in my room.
Just talking to lovely people and relaxing to music.
Me and my darling Amy Lushy Hardie were reminded how pathetic some people can be today. It disgusts me when others just bitch on about someone or something they know nothing about for the sake of approval or something equally as pathetic. As far as I'm concerned it's well on par with lying as a means to an end. TRIVIAL. Grow. Up.
I'd rather be a decent person, with values and morals, but each to their own. It has also reminded us how lucky we are to have each other and our amazing and genuine friends. I personally can say I have no time for trivial, pathetic, adolescent behaviour. Amy, along with my other beautiful friends are perfect to me; individually. We are like so totally forward; what an outrage. We rock; fuck the rest.
I tried to explain to Russ today the way I work when it comes to friends. I have a lot. But real friends; of those, I have few. Why waste your time on fake affections when you could put them to a far superior use.
The beauty of true friendship is untouchable.
My mind is an enigma.
Generally, I like how individual I am.
I like that people don't understand me.That people try and figure me out.
I like that you can never be too sure. And that I know that no one has even scratched the surface.
And I like that people will spend forever wondering and contemplating it.
But sometimes it does leave you kind of alone.
Even if I wanted to explain it, I wouldn't. One of those self preservation things.
And I don't think I could anyway. Sometimes I try and scale things down for people; if they ask. But it's never really... right.
Gahhh, who knows.
I've committed to it and it's exciting.
I'm getting my hair cut on Friday, and I want something new. Something that will make a difference to me.
I bore easily.
"I won't regret saying this, this thing that I'm saying. Is it better than keeping my mouth shut? That goes without saying. Call, break it off. Call, break my own heart. Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at. Maybe you would have been something Id be good at. But now, we'll never know. I wont be sad but in case I go there everyday, to make myself feel bad there's a chance I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do. I wont be out long but i still think this better end, you take your time coming over here i think that's for the best." Tegan & Sara. Yes please?
I am happy with things right now. But I feel like I'm inbetween something.
Something is happening.
Things are changing, and soon things will slot together better.
This is good news.
I need a good book to read.
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." - Nietzsche.
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