You're My Daydream, Does It Make You Homesick For Me?

So I have been totally rubbish lately, that's basically all I've written lately which makes it more shocking, I'm just so tired and/or busy lately it's insane!
So, let's see.
So I haven't updated this in like 11/12 days.
It's currently 05:29 and I haven't slept because I had a nap yesterday afternoon. Woopsies.
So I really do think I need a night time job because I can do the awake in the day and night thing pretty well, but not the awake in the day asleep in the night. Lalala.
Yeah, so since I last updated, God knows whats happened. I went to London?
That was awesome, I went to stay with my friend Izzy who I've known since we were about 3 which is crazy. She lives in Harrow and has a beaut apartment that she shares with her aunt. It was amazing to get away.
I basically went because I had a few days of holiday I needed to take so thought, why the hell not!! Got the bus up, biggest mistake of my life, never ever ever again. Did lots of things which I will keep in my memory for a long time. I never forget trips away, whether they're to somewhere in the country or the other side of the world. I love visiting different places and spending time with different people. It's soul-shaping.



Going back to work after almost a week off was hard!! But today was easy because we were doing a Rack, Stack and Pack which meant I didn't really have much to do. Lovely. And it was Hanna's last day which is mad because she's off travelling/studying in Jordan! I am so so so jealous, it made me want to go back to Malaysia so badly, next year, if I can afford the flights, I am gone.
I woke up with a slight sore throat this morning, brilliant. But, nothing I can't handle. Over itttt.
I'm going through that time I have every few months where I hate all my clothes, but also hate all the clothes in shops and want to change my style, but don't have a clue how and so I'm constantly having a bad clothes day. And to top it off my hair is just at an awful length at the moment, I'm trying to grow it out again but it's getting to that horrible in between length people always used to complain about... I now understand!
I also have no idea what colour my hair is, I genuinely have to look in the mirror now to remember. How ridiculous. It's just changed so much over the last month or two that I look at a photo and think, yeah that's what I look like... oh wait? Ha, retarddddd. Anyway, I'm not getting out of bed to check now but I'm pretty sure it's brown, a bit darker than my natural colour.
I miss my black hair, but I'm not dying it black again because it ruined my hair to get it back to brown and I know I wont want it black forever. Ahhh well.
I miss my lush long hair, so unfunny. Anyway, it's good its short because my hair had no style when it was long, this way I can grow it but make sure it looks rad.
I love and hate all music at the moment, I'm just getting bored of everything I hear horrifically quickly. Lame much?
So yeah, Bella is still adorable. She was outside then entire time I was in London as I didn't want her cage to get messy and have to ask James to clean it, this way he could just feed her easily. Luckily the weather was amazing, but she wasn't too impressed to come inside after that. She likes it out there. However, she is now perfectly happy in her little bedroom, chewing on lettuce, hay and Bella food.
I thought that maybe the reason I love her so much is because bunnies like to be awake at night and sleep in the day, and I like to be awake at night (I also like to be awake in the day, but if I could choose, I would sleep for a few hours early in the morning and then be awake for most of the day and night!)
So, lately my life has been kind of crazy; good and bad.
I think it's kind of settling, but I'm sure it'll only be settled to the next day be flipped upside down.
...I can't complain, after all, I spent the beginning of the year complaining my life was too boring.
I also must consider that nothing that is happening at the moment will be the way it is in two months time. In two months and a day I will no longer be living in this house, I will no longer be working full time and the people in my life and their situations could be very different. I like to watch things work out, to see if what I have predicted comes true.
Regardless of ups and downs I have been having a helluva lot to fun lately. Cannot complain about that.
I am ready to laze around for a month or two though if I'm totally honest.
I'm try to decide whether it would be worth getting some kind of temp job for august, just a few hours to give me a little extra cash. I don't know, I'll look into it. Could be worthwhile, good fun. Maybe I could do some baby sitting seeing as I will be free in the days and its the summer holidays?
Anyway, I literally am just babbling on. But I like to, because, that's what my blog is for. I can't believe its already the end of May. I mean, we're basically half way through the year. THAT'S crazy.
I can vividly remember writing my first blog on the 4th Jan. I like that I am still writing, I am looking forward to going back over it at the end of the year because so much will have changed, it already has.
So, I'm going to try harder to update every day again. I have no excuse.
Tomorrow/today I think I'm just going to chill out and do little seeing as it's a bank holiday weekend so I will make the most of Monday. I might be seeing my Mummy on Monday because she misses me. So that would be nice. I'd quite like to go riding if I could get a private session for an hour or something, I will look into it.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to say... I might have already, but anyway, I've started jogging. I enjoy it. It's been a while, I used to LOVE running. What happened there? So yeah, I couldn't go when I was in London obviously, but now I'm home I'm back on it.
I want to make sure I have a lovely yummy figure for summer (that's assuming we haven't just had the best of it.)
I really hope this summer is lovely and hot and just, perfect. I have a lot of expectations for this summer and I wish to see them through, good weather will help. The last week has been incredible, it was SO hot. I got a tan just playing a cheeky round of adventure golf! I say a tan, I'm still paler than the average British citizen, but that's just me, so I hope the weather continues. Not particularly likely seeing as it rained all day today! Good.
My house in Brighton is all secure and ready for me as of august 1st 2010. I cannot wait. But I'm not moving up until September. So I'll be moving home with my Mum for a month, don't really know how much time I will actually spend there though.
Anyway, I really am going to stop talking now.
Morning sir's and madam's.



TEGAN & SARA, DISTILLERS, GALLOWS, DEAF HAVANA, HEART OF A COWARD, PARKWAY DRIVE, MUMFORD & SONS.

"You're my daydream does it make you homesick for me? I'm missing you, I'm still missing you. Well I guess that I've never really had you."
Goodnight at... 06:06.

So This Is What We're Up Against?

Yeah....
Got a horrendous amount of stuff going through my head right now.
It's wild.
Join the party.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Yeah, cool.
I can't wait to run away.
Ta-ra.


I really like this.

Drain The Blood, The Heart Is Wise

Yeah, I haven't updated this, I've been a little distracted lately.
I'm pretty happy at the moment, things are all looking pretty good.
Back to work and actually feeling better, taking calls and just being boring old working Leo.
Managing to not be exhausted regardless of the fact I'm still going to bed gone 2:30am every morning.
Bellatrix is being a little rascal!
I have a few bits of holiday due which always makes work seem easier.
Should be off from Saturday until Thursday next week and so I'm planning on going off and visiting a few lovely people.
Looking forward to getting out of Devon. Amazing.
I've started running again which is making me feel good, only been at it for two days so far but I already feel better for it. I wasn't going to go tonight, decided Monday should be my day off because it's when I do a late shift, but right now I feel like I still want to go!!
Amazing.
Anyway, update later.

Let's Unwrite These Pages & Replace Them With Our Own Words

My heart is racing & I can't help thinking it's not gunna stop anytime soon.
I dont have very much to blog about.
F*CK.
I'm listening to lots and lots and lots of Tegan & Sara & Distillers. ♥
"I step right off the edge, let the blood rush to my head. I'm going down to where the lucky ones have bled. I lift the veil up to reveal a fascination, and if you crave it then you know that you are injured. And I'm holding on. For what you do to me, oh, baby, there's no measure, I've taken everything, now I want to give it. I left the lights on so you stumble in devotion. So easy, so easy, it's left unspoken. And I'm holding on. I've come to realize you're the only thing I want, I'm falling all the way in."
That song is just too good. :)


I love this photo. I want to go somewhere like this. I like to spend my days doing nice things, not cool things. With beautiful & amazing people. I need to do more things like this.
"I will make you paper aeroplanes."

Goodnight, I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

I Just Want Back In Your Head

Lalala, I'm at work, it's my lunch break.
I'm going from hyperactive to drained every 30 minutes! It's crazy.
My headache is coming and going and I'm in an amazing mood regardless.
I'm bored and wish I was on my way somewhere fun with someone fun rather than being stuck infront of a computer but give me two months and I'm gone.
I can't wait to get home tonight and literally just rest, hang out with leila, see my bunny and speak to good people.
I want to move to Brighton now. So much. It's rubbish and boring here. I will REALLY miss a few people, literally, only a few, but I know that regardless of where I am I will still see them as much as possible. It's cool because a few of my best friends are currently in Bristol and a few more people will be there soon. I'm moving closer to a few people by moving to Brighton as well, and most importantly I'm moving in with Bryony, which is perfect.
It's going to be so strange living in Brighton and then coming back for holidays. Seeing people who haven't moved away. Just, totally strange.
Don't think I'll be back very much though, I mean, I will probably wanna go to visit people at their uni's and stuff when I can. I love going to new places and living the life of my friends for a few days. Ahhhh exciting.
Anyway, back to work, will do a better update later, I'm just rambling right now.
Ciao.

There's No Hope For The Weak; Your Heroes Have Died ♥

Yeah, so the reason I haven't been updating this very much is that I've literally been ill for two weeks. It's such a joke. But due to this nothing in my life has changed too dramatically.
I'm going back to work tomorrow which will be good, a little daunting though to be honest. I don't know, it'll be good fun anyway, better than sitting around doing nothing all day everyday.
I couldn't go back to being jobless; unless I had someone super fun to hang out with everyday of course.
I'm currently listening to The Con by Tegan and Sara, I know I've quoted it more than once on here lately, but I just think it's an amazing song. I adore it. The lyrics are amazing.
Last night I went out for a bit because I was so sick of being stuck inside for weeks, but it just made me feel more ill so went home again!!
I am genuinely feeling a little better, last week was hell. So I'm hoping just being at work will be a distraction from it all.
One of my gill's grew out the day before yesterday, I am sad because they're beautiful and I love them. Such a shame. But I still have one! I said that when they grow out I would get them done on the other side, but right now I cannot afford £50 on piercings. MANNNN, SO ANNOYED. Plus I'm on the tattoo case at the moment, so all spare funds need to go towards that. Yes please.
So, one of the few problems in my life was nearly on the road to recovery, until suddenly it all started going down hill again. Which is weird, because nothing particularly atrocious happened, I just realised that it's never going to be fixed.
Break my trust and it's almost impossible to repair what you have broken.
Last night I started reading my book Mad, Bad and Sad. The History of Women and The Mind Doctors From 1800 To The Present. It's such a good book already. I cannot wait to finish it.
I started listening to Parkway Drive again today and just remembered how good they are!!!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow because it means I'll have someone to play with for a week. I've been bored out of my skull lately.
Unfortunately it has come to light that the majority of people around her are just awful and therefore the selection of people I actually want to grace with my presence is minimal. Ha, what a bitch. Ahh well... brutal honesty?
Yeah, so, I also tried to be nice about something and seemed to make the whole thing worse, sorry!! My bad. But seriously, grow up. You're not in love & you need to act your age.
Even better... "act your rage."
Ahhh, I'm in a strange mood.
I felt a little let down, again, today by a certain person, but its the same person that continues to let me down, unintentionally. So never mind. Some people just don't see how self absorbed they are. I cannot fault them for that.
I want to wear my braces to work tomorrow but have nothing to wear them with which is really lame.
Anyway, I guess it's about time for me to go and make some tea, listen to Gallows, Distillers, Tegan & Sara, Heart Of A Coward, Deaf Havana, Parkway Drive & Bury Tomorrow, play with Bella, have a shower, make a low calorie meal and hit the sack. It's all about tomorrow as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, I want to watch Hook! :)
"You know that place between sleep and awake? That place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you... Peter Pan. That's where I'll be waiting." Ah, beautiful.

I Won't Scream In My Head & Let It Isolate Me

I haven't written a blog in a few days now, since being ill things have gotten a little weird.
I'm just wanting to get better and do things and I dunno, not be signed off until Monday!
So, bring it on.
Oh and, she's like, perfect. Yummy. Need to get skinny, get a tan and get tattoo number 3.

Noboday Likes To But I Really Like To Cry

Today was horrific.

I Feel Like You Wouldn't Like Me If You Met Me

My heart is racing and my head is banging. I'm feeling irrational & wreckless.
I need to remember to always keep my cards close to my chest.
I don't need rescuing. I need to escape.
Yeah, probably best if I stayed out of everyone's lives.
Bit of a waste of space really.
Radddddddddddddddddd.
My head really f*cking hurts.
Lalala.


Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that if all the circumstances were different this would be someting very different from what it is.

"Well nobody likes to but i really like to cry. Well nobody likes me maybe if i cry." I love T&S

Ice Doesn't Help The Uncoordinated

Today Adam wanted to take me out so I could try and forget I was ill. We went to Bristol aquarium!! Which was amazing, we saw so many lovely fishies and sea creatures.





Then we went and got pizza express, and walked into town a little, saw Rosie and Jack!! Then I drove the Scirocco home, literally most beautiful car in the world. AHHHHH.



We went to watch Kick-ass. Very funny! Then I came home, hung out with Leila and James. James kindly introduced Bella to Gilbert the giraffe, and I discovered that maybe Bella is developing some adult feelings. But, she seems faithful to Gilbert so I guess I can adjust to this.
So, yeah, been a fun day really.