Don't Let It Go To Your Head

Yet again been updated on some pathetic facebook status about me. Why do people constantly have to update me on complete BS?

I think you need to get over yourself.
My blog wasn't about you. I have better things to laugh about, better things to write about.

Hope you're well.

Hello, Welcome To The Show ♥

Today I hung out with Bryony and we had a junk day.
These are the best kinda of days. Those of you yet to experience a junk day; I highly advise it.
We woke up late-ish, went into town, got some lunch, yummy.
Then we walked home and had quite a laugh at something in particular, LOL.
Then we went to PC world by the big tesco and played some playstation 3.
Once that was out of our system we went into DFS and a guy who B actually kind of knew offered us champagne, which we obviously went for.
We then continued to walk around DFS looking at sofa's and trying out many of them.
"browsing"
One guy actually started talking to us about the logistics of buying a sofa, he wacked out his best salesmanship skills. CANNOT BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT WE HAD LIKE £5000 FOR A SOFA COLLECTION.
Sorry. Would love to. LUSH SOFA, but no.
We were both terrified we would spill our champagne on the sofa's as well. Woopsies.
I fell in love with a particular chair. It was round and span around, and just yummy and comfy. Tad outta my price range unfortunately.
Then we came back home and I chilled out with Bella for a bit.
Then me and my house mates had a yummy roast.
I don't know what I'm going to do when Izzy and Andy leave?! I'm actually going to have to start cooking haha.
Izzy is leaving on Tuesday, and it's weird, although I've not known her long I'm genuinely gutted she's going. But she's going to have a rad time so it's fiiiine.
Still got Andy, James & Leila. Although, Andy is off in a couple of weeks too!
SADFACE.
After dinner we watched a Louis Theroux episode on a rough jail in America which was good and then went on to give James the 21 questions about his childhood and how he likes to climb trees.
I was genuinely in tears as a result of the laughing fit I had.
Too funny.
They're all SO funny.
I'm lucky.

Only one negative thing has happened to me today. Come what may.

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." -Gandhi.

I played a game of hide and seek with Bella today, that was fun. She likes to play. Shes still adorable.



I feel my life is a little like a TV show at the moment. "Hello, welcome to the show."
By all means, sit back and enjoy... I know I will.
Ciao. ♥

Flawed Methods Of Persecution & Punishment

This weekend has been ridiculous.
Good and bad.
Either way, it's absolutely exhausted me.
I'm done with people letting me down. Over and over.
I'm done with liars. And false promises.
I'm also done with making people who don't deserve it feel sad.
I need to make some serious decisions, very soon. I think I know what I should do in both cases, and it's going to suck. But I need to end this. I cannot continue to be selfish and I cannot continue to be taken for granted.
So many things to consider.
It's too difficult.
I can't do it.
I just want things to be simple for once.

The next month is going to be amazing though; B is back from uni, as is Rosie.
This makes all things better.
I don't really have to worry about anything when they're home.
Lovely.

Today B and I had a junk day.
It was amazing.
We went to DFS and we got given champagne and then we just mooched around and tried out all the sofa's. I found my favourite chair ever, like a big circle with lots of cushions that spins around. HA, ITS AMAZING.
Only like £600 odd!!

Bella has met a lot of new people in the past week, poor thing! Ha, I think she likes it really.

Right then, time to think on and do something about it.
Goodbyeeeee.

Look What Happened

And I swear its the last time and I swear its my last try. And we're walkin' circles around this whole block, walk on the cracks of the same old sidewalks. And we'll talk about leaving town, yeah we'll talk about leaving.

So Gasp For Air, There's Nothing Left

F*CK THIS.

"we're gunna die like this you know; miserable & old, really gotta hand it to you."

It's Too Bad It's Not My Style

My lip hurts. A lot.
And it looks awful.
Never mind.
I managed to actually get to work today, and like super early! Madness.
At least now I know what I'm doing in the morning.
I'm cold, cos I got rained on walking to the bus stop haha. Never mind.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about Bryony, Hopey, Laura, Rosie, Lucy, Ria, Katie, Jade, Chlo, Michelle, Amy, Nathan, Lewis, Cai, Russ, Philly & Tom.
I cannot wait to involve them all in my new life once I'm settled and sorted.
Getting there, things are falling into place.
By the end of the week it'll be perfect. HAPPYFACE.

Work time.

It's A Campaign Of Distraction

Moving out has been really good for me.

It's been busy and so I'm kinda tired. Settling in is taking a lot of my time, but it's not a bad thing cos I've made some rad new friends and I wouldn't change that. I just hope my besties don't feel that I'm taking them for granted, because I'm not, I think about them all day.

I am happy.

"This is what living like this does."

Although, if I'm totally honest, I've been over thinking a few things.

Silly really.

Just need to answer my own questions.

Spot on.

Good night.

Retrace The Steps As If We Forgot

I moved out today.
Crazy crazy crazy.
I didn't realise how much stuff I actually have.
It's been a really weird day.
But I am happy.
I'm sat in my new room with my beautiful bunny talking to a lovely person.
My new house mates are rad, got pretty lucky.
Things are spot on.
Work tomorrow, finding my way there will be interesting to say the least.
Many things to look forward to.
From now, I am only looking forward.
Ta-ra.

You're A Touch Overrated

I have officially lost faith.

I had little.Now I have none.

Congratulations.

It's not something I won't get over but it's something I won't forget. Sick of being let down but the people who are supposed to love me.

Why bother treating people so well if all you get is disrespect in return?

Got to be honest, I don't ask a lot.

I've decided my new tattoo. I will get it, despite the fact I'm moving out. I'll manage to afford it.

Shouldn't be too much anyway.

"You're a touch overrated, you're a lush and I hate it."

Twisted as I am, I'm always more content with myself and my life when everything around me offers nothing to believe in.

Just makes life easier I guess.

If everything has already proven you wrong there's nothing left to disappoint.

This culture is pathetic.

Gentlemen Don't Ask Questions. We Could Pay Attention

Do you ever just feel like you have to question everything?
I question everything. But not publicly. I ask myself. Well I don't really think I'm asking me. I'm more contemplating. Deciding. Analysing I guess.
And I always draw a conclusion.
I'm usually right. If you know me well enough then you know; despite how annoying it is, this is true.
I just have a way with some things.
I'm rational, thorough and in no way concise.

I've changed so much over the past three years, but most of the important things have stayed consistent throughout.
Today I was looking at my old myspace "about me's". It was really strange.
I didn't know how to feel about it.
It reminded me of things I had totally forgotten about, reminded me of aspects of my personality that are now long gone. But it also refreshed my faith that I'm still the same good person I always was.
Deep down nothing's changed.
Material things change.
My morals and values will never change.
Moral fibre.

In every single about me I state "Life's too short to blend in." I will stand by this forever.
I don't blend in. I refuse to, I never will.
I mean this for every aspect of my life. I don't want to be like a single other person.
I am Leonora Hitchcock. And you'll never know what that means. Because it's a mess.
But a beautiful mess that I enjoy being.
Being different isn't a bad thing.
Try telling that to highschool girls.. gahh, I despise who I was in high school.

"Magnificently unprepared for the long littleness of life."

When I was 16 I was very honest, that's when I changed. And became the first of the person I am now. Reading the things I said cut me up when I read them. I am still just as honest, but I don't share things that don't need to be shared.
Sometimes I think when I was 16 I thought I would live forever, because now a lot of the things I keep to myself are for self preservation.
But when you're that age it's better to be honest than what most teenage girls are.
I don't regret it, and nothing bad came from it, if anything only good came from it.
"I don't like being messed around. I like to know where I stand, brutal honesty please." This still stands. 100%.
If you lie or hide things from me you can do one. I don't have patience for games or drama.
I am such a complicated person, and I love that. I adore it. And I know how I feel about anything that matters. It's just, people will never know anything about me.
One thing that is predominant throughout the things I've written over the last 3 years is how important my friends are to me.
I think this is when I truly learnt the true value of friendship.
This is something I will never forget.

"If you think you're free, there is no escape possible."
I fight both sides of this argument often. One of the few things that I am unsure of.
I'm not free. But I don't believe in determinism either.
I'll figure it out.

I used to be excited about going to university. Now I'm just excited about running away from everything. It's like a parallel universe. I didn't care where I was last year. I wanted to be close to home.
Now I just want to run.
And do whatever I end up doing.

"I am ridiculously over dramatic; you'll either love it or you'll hate it. Either way, I don't really care"
After a couple of years, this definitely became my approach.
As I settled into who I am, I became far more confident.
I love who I've become and the things I believe in. They're far more respectable and worth while than most of the people around here, but some people can't handle who I am.
I'm just too much. But I'm okay with that.
I think one of the things people can't understand is how loud I am, but how nice I actually am. People think it's fake.
I'm not fake. I'm not make-believe.
I just found myself a helluva lot earlier than everyone else.
But I definitely got more full on with it. If people don't like me that's fine. In fact I love it.
It gives me something to analyse and work on.
But I also couldn't care less. Everyone is due their own opinion and I would never deny a person of this. Embrace it.
The ironic thing is, when given the chance, I have never failed to prove a person wrong who thinks badly of me. Few can say that.
I definitely developed my likes and my dislikes and my routines.
I'm horribly OCD and do like to get my own way. Most people would deny this. But EVERYONE wants they're own way. Of course they do. But unlike a lot I would never lie or manipulate to get it. And if I don't it isn't the end of the world.
I think the only person who has ever had to suffer the wrath of me being selfish is my mum. And I'd like to say that that is well and truly in the past. But realistically I think you'd have to ask her that if you wanted a real answer.

ROMANCE ME.
Those two words have lined my lips for longer than I can remember.
Something that I will always believe in.
Romance is pure. But rare.
To me, it is as vital as the blood that runs through my veins. Disgustingly cliche? Probably. But unlike most people who claim to love romance, I need it in every aspect of my life.
You don't even know the meaning of it.
Words can't even begin to get to the point. So I won't attempt it either.
I never used to believe I deserved anything worthwhile. You get what you deserve. That's always the way I felt. And then, for a short while I kid myself that I did deserve something totally beautiful. But in the last 1o months I have learned, deservedness doesn't even come into it.
It's all bollocks. And you don't get what you put in. That I can tell you for sure.
I don't think I'll ever have it, because I expect far too much.
But at least I know this now.
I'm not a foolish 14 year old who thinks we're all going to end up like the couple in the notebook. Beautiful as it is.
I have always claimed "flattery will get you everywhere" but what people have always failed to see is that I'm not referring to myself.
...but most of society, this is true. You just have to know which aspects of a person to target. Then you're in. People are fickle. People are artificial. People have no real sense of self anymore.
Everyone needs reassuring now and then, but we've ruined our culture. EVERYONE needs reassuring now, no one is completely content anymore.
It's all about reading people and then... you're in.
"For a reason unknown, romance is horrifically important to me..." - see, nothing has changed.
"...it kind of sucks."

I'm blessed.
"Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself. Create." I started creating myself 2 years and 7 months ago. I'll continue. But I'm definitely on the right track. I decided on that day that I want to change the world one day, because I'm not happy with the way it is.
Don't sit around and wait for you to grow out of pathetic drama, it won't happen. Realisation. Then, get the fuck on with it. Sort YOURSELF out, because, trust me... no one else is going to do it for you.

"One day there was a girl, who cried tears of pearls. And her eyes were blue and green like none Ive ever seen. And she met a man that night, who filled her with delight, and he spoke in poetry and rhyme and she loved him in those times. But he changed."

Everything changes. Protect yourself. No one else will. Even if they want to.
Inconvenient truth.

"So then this lonely girl had had enough of her world, so she climbed to the top of the tallest tower. And stood there for way over an hour until she decided she'd jump so she jumped with a very loud thump and all of the neighbours they came out and cried when they discovered that this poor girl had died. And the boy just stood there and gasped at this beauty asleep on the grass, her eyes were like none he had seen except for the girls in his dreams. And then he changed. And soon he became, depressed and very very strange and he locked himself away for days and play songs that were blue and songs that were grey, songs that reminded him of that day. One day there was a girl who fell in love with a boy in another world, she speaks to him at night, only in a certain light. She wore white when he wore black and they were like a perfect match and though one was dead and one was alive, through many years their love did survive until time faded and soon they became both exactly the same. And they both are floating in the sky, singing their own lullaby. A song reminds them of a past time, a song that reminds them of a past day. A song that is blue, a song that is grey."

This Time Will Be Your Last

I am happyyyyy!
Had nice texts and phone calls.
People actually do care. Win. Ha.
My bunny is still adorable.
I'm excited because looks as though I've found a house to move to. Me and Bella, lots of fun times.
And before I know it I'll be in Brighton.
...missing a few amaze people. Sadface. But being to freakin' happy about being with B.
Ahhh I miss her so much.
COME HOME.
I wanted to go and see her this weekend but haven't been able to get sat off work, LAAAAAME.


Rawrrr. Meow. Woof. *dragon noise*


I've listened to such good music today.
ANYWAY, SHORT AND BORING UPDATE.
Work tomorrow.
I miss Hope and Bryony.


Enough drama, I'm done. I do happy. That is all. Lalalalalala.
Ta-ra.

Dead Sea

Playing with me and it wont get you far
Leaving me here unfaithful and scarred
Begging for mercy it wont get you praise
Release me

Release me
Take me away from this place

Untie me from your tightening grasp and I'll make sure that you fall
You hold your head above the rest
I'll twist this blade till your dead

Your eyes roll back into your skull
Who's controlling now? Who's controlling?
You thought this day would never come
Who's the bitch now?
You're the fucking bitch!

Release me
Take me away from the place;
Release me.
Get me away from here.

Mine for eternity...that's what you swore to me;
Now you break these vows and perish.

Look For The Girl With The Broken Smile

When I came home from work I told my mum that as the evening went on I would get myself into a right tantrum of a mood.
I don't know what else you'd call this.

Don't speak to me, I might be mean and I don't want to be mean.



On a brighter note, Bella likes pasta bake, how adorable.

Casually Dressed & Deep In Conversation

I'm bored.
My mind is going to waste.
I might go out.

I drew some pictures when I got home today.
That made me happy.
I miss being creative.
It was good.
They were kind of weird. I don't know what I was thinking when I did them, but it was nice to do nonetheless.

I might go for a drive, clear my already empty head.
Ta-ra.

"between the lines of fear and blame you begin to wonder why you came." music reminds me who i am.

The Whole World Is Watching With One Blank Stare

Today has been such an up and down day.
I feel a bit strange. Not strange good, but not strange bad either.
Woke up with Bellatrix next to me; she's adorable. She makes me smile every time I look at her.
I got up and gave my mummy her Mothers Day badge! And I made her wear it while we were tidying the house up.
We had to thoroughly tidy everything and make sure all of the radiators are accessible because we've got some guys from British Gas (TRAITOR I KNOW?!) coming to play with our radiators and boiler.
I strangely enjoyed sorting through all the "stuff" we had lying around.
Cleaning is like detoxing.
Everything feels lighter in the house now.
It wasn't all good though; but that's life and it's inevitable.
I went to Curry's which I enjoyed because the Tech Guys in there like me. And then I went into Pet's At Home to see if there was anything in there I needed to get for Bella.
I also called Russ and we talked about having attachments to fish and other animals, and how I thought it was strange that I cried when my fish died.
I discovered that he has premonitory abilities; he predicted when his gecko was going to die. SADFACE.
I feel I may be slightly over estimating his abilities, however it interested me nonetheless.
It was lush driving today. It was so sunny.
I literally threw on some comfies, no make up, sunnies on, hair a mess and just drove in the sunshine. I love driving in this weather.
Music blaring.
When I got back a few good things came to light.
Things were said.
Things that needed to be said.
And plans were made. Exciting but slightly nerve-racking plans.
I will only look forward.
After all the tidying was done I chilled in my room.
Just talking to lovely people and relaxing to music.
Me and my darling Amy Lushy Hardie were reminded how pathetic some people can be today. It disgusts me when others just bitch on about someone or something they know nothing about for the sake of approval or something equally as pathetic. As far as I'm concerned it's well on par with lying as a means to an end. TRIVIAL. Grow. Up.
I'd rather be a decent person, with values and morals, but each to their own. It has also reminded us how lucky we are to have each other and our amazing and genuine friends. I personally can say I have no time for trivial, pathetic, adolescent behaviour. Amy, along with my other beautiful friends are perfect to me; individually. We are like so totally forward; what an outrage. We rock; fuck the rest.
I tried to explain to Russ today the way I work when it comes to friends. I have a lot. But real friends; of those, I have few. Why waste your time on fake affections when you could put them to a far superior use.
The beauty of true friendship is untouchable.


My mind is an enigma.
Generally, I like how individual I am.
I like that people don't understand me.That people try and figure me out.
I like that you can never be too sure. And that I know that no one has even scratched the surface.
And I like that people will spend forever wondering and contemplating it.
But sometimes it does leave you kind of alone.
Even if I wanted to explain it, I wouldn't. One of those self preservation things.
And I don't think I could anyway. Sometimes I try and scale things down for people; if they ask. But it's never really... right.
Gahhh, who knows.
I've committed to it and it's exciting.

I'm getting my hair cut on Friday, and I want something new. Something that will make a difference to me.
I bore easily.

"I won't regret saying this, this thing that I'm saying. Is it better than keeping my mouth shut? That goes without saying. Call, break it off. Call, break my own heart. Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at. Maybe you would have been something Id be good at. But now, we'll never know. I wont be sad but in case I go there everyday, to make myself feel bad there's a chance I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do. I wont be out long but i still think this better end, you take your time coming over here i think that's for the best." Tegan & Sara. Yes please?

I am happy with things right now. But I feel like I'm inbetween something.
Something is happening.
Things are changing, and soon things will slot together better.
This is good news.

I need a good book to read.

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." - Nietzsche.

I Was Sent To Cut You Loose

I love my girls. & a few others. I love Goldfinger. I love my bunny.

I don't like having to be careful.
Absolute anarchy.
That's all.
Goodbye.

Drain The Blood, The Heart Is Wise

HELLO.
Today has been a good day.
I went to work for the first time in SO LONG. And had a good catch up with Paula my manager. She's amazing, I am so lucky to have a manager like her.
After work I went straight to Newton, picked up Si & Liam and then to Chlo's to get her surprise party all sorted.
I was so worried I was going to have messed up.
I like taking charge of things, but this time I felt a little out of my depth as I don't know all her friends very well.
Nevertheless I think it went pretty well! She was so surprised, it was brilliant.
I enjoyed it.
She got a little drunk and it was funny. I love that girl.
I then came home & spoke to Russ on the phone for the entirety of my journey. Happyface.
Then I got in and chilled with Bellatrix, tidied out the underneath of my bed and then spoke to Hopey on the phone for a while.
I hope the weather is nice tomorrow. I want to do nice things.
But for now, I'm going to chill in bed and talk to Russ and Amy... and if anyone else worth talking to starts an interesting conversation I will converse with them also. FEEL FREE.

I've decided, I know what I want, but I'm not going to "make it happen", if it happens it happens.

I get to see my dragon tomorrow. ♥
Byeeeee.

Certain Tragedy

I am bad at this.
Gahhh. FML.
Hahaha, I am such an emo.
I enjoy mine and Hope's ridiculous conversations about nothing and we just decide we fail at life haha.
We don't. We rock.

Holiday photo?



I love my girls.

Fuck this.
Mmm, you... come and see me.

If It Means A Lot To You

I brought my bunny home today. I am so happy. She is gorgeous. Happyface.

Other than that however I've had a really awful 24 hours.
Last night just hurt a lot. Sometimes it's all just too much.
There is only so much I can take, and one day I really will just give up on it. Why try and help if it is consistently ignored.
But I did see my cousin and my gran which was nice.
I stayed up late talking to Russ and watching Juno. Night well spent I think.
Today was nice, my first normal day after being back from my holiday. Those days are good, and needed before going back to work.

One other thing on my mind, probably an overreaction because I've had a kind of lame time but I hate it when people say one thing and then act the opposite.
Like, urgh, I dunno... I wont complain, I'm a lucky girl but, sometimes I need to not be the only one making the effort.

I gave a good friend some good advice today. This made me happy. I like to help people.
It's all about helping others to avoid making the mistakes I made when I was younger.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day, as is Saturday.
Cannot wait to see Chlo.

My bunny keeps going under her hutch ha, how silly is that. Shes adorable.
I'm going to do my holiday photo's now and will then do a holiday blog later I'm sure.
Oh and I need to write another couple of letters.
Catch you later.

That´s Where I´m Gunna Wait For You

Ola.
In Spain still... obviously!!
Having such a rad time, today has been AMAZING.
I´ve decided I´m going to do my proper holiday blog when I get back with all the photos etc!! But yessy.
Today we chilled in the sun, lush much? And had a wonder around the city.
Had cocktails, yumyum and sang along to CHEESEY music. Wiiiinage.
Last night was hilarious, I was up until ridiculous o´clock and we were just laughing at properly retarded things. HAD TO BE HERE, gutted you´re not. Ha.
We "met" a guy that looks like Will from the Inbetweeners, I then remembered that we actually have met Will from the Inbetweeners, but this guy was an intense dancer so he wins on the holiday LOL´s basis.
Everything is good. So very good.
Don´t even care that I probably HAVE TONSILITUS (ha!)
Yummy.
Rosies got her spesh boots on again, yepppp... what a retarddd.
I love her.
I love Rosie, Bryony and Hope, they are all amazing and should stay in my life forever.
LETS JUST STAY IN SPAIN FOREVER.
...and maybe bring a few others along for the journey.
I miss Laura, need to see her. Sadface.
I GET MY BUNNY ON THURSDAY!

Ha, B is being a slut and Hope is being a facebook whore.
I love those girls.
Bahahahahahahaha.
Speak tomorrow lovelies.
Ta-ra.



UMMMMMM NO!

Hit The Lights

I´m in SPAIN!!
It´s nice. I get to chill out and do whatever I like all day.
We definitely slept through breakfast this morning, haha, how ridiculous.
And I woke up with a sore throat so good started with a nice stiff shot of whiskey. How ridiculous.
All the people that work at the hotel are like super happy, it´s amazing.
There is a "British supermarket" across the road, this amuses me. The woman who runs it is nice though, win.
Tomorrow we´re going to venture into town I think. Lalala.
I am happppyyyyy.
Don´t really have much to say except that I kinda don´t wanna come home ha.
Update again tomorrow slags.
Ta-raaaa.

The Illusion Of Safety

I've had a nice day.
Haven't done much.
Had a nap earlier.
But the best part of my day has been talking to someone that is just totally like me in a lot of ways. We're like minded. This is rare.
Few people understand me, and more so, few people actually feel the same about things.
Just trivial things that mean little to others.
But I appreciate it a lot.
It's nice to have a genuine and interesting conversation.

Arghhhh, don't you hate it when you want something totally ridiculous? Yep ha. I don't care, the idea of it makes me happy.

I need cute bunny names, anyone?
Good music, good conversation, good tea, good mood.
Happyface.

I'm going to Spain tomorrow. Well today technically, seeing as it's 04:14.
Ta-ra.

P.S. I have a dragon and he is my favourite.

Me, You & My Medication

I'm cold.
It's lame.
I'm still ill, but I'm getting better. I'm allowed to go to Spain, so maybe it will be good for me.
I need to get away.
Yet again reminded myself how fickle I am at the moment.
It's getting the point that it's annoying me.
I saw Alice In Wonderland last night, it was good, but not what I expected. I wanted it to be a lot darker than it was.
Never mind.
I got my euros today. Talk about last minute. Need to pack still.
And my bunny is coming home with me when I get back. I am so very excited.
Yay.
I went for a lush walk in the sunshine with Hope and Lewis because the fresh air makes me feel better. I keep getting a ridiculous fever so a nice walk tends to help.
I took lots of good photo's of them. And we took stanners. He's cute.
Had, yet more, childish behaviour forced into my life, but I pushed it out just as quickly.
If I cared, I'd "say something" or "do something" about it. But there is no point.
I don't care and never will care. Heartless? I'm over it.
I care for little.
One of the few people I do care about is being careless right now.
Brilliant.
I can't wait to move to Brighton.
I'm bored of Exeter and Ottery and all the people around here to be honest.
NEXT.
Something exciting (to me because I'm a dork haha) did happen yesterday though, got chatting to a lovely someone about philosophy and good books and things that GENUINELY interest me. It was so nice. I miss having intellectual conversations.

It was nice to see Lewis and Miss Hope the other day.

The Great Escape

I couldn't sleep this morning because my tummy is hurting so much.
I don't like to complain, I don't normally notice pain to be honest.
But this is different.
Ouchies.
As a form of distraction I am sorting out the music on my phone.
It's sunny outside, this can only mean good things.
Bring on feeling better please.

Every Town Sings The Same Sad Song

I have done very little today.
Had to endure a few things.
Nothing I can't handle.
My lights have stopped working.
Brilliant. I had to eat a crunch corner in the dark. (HA!)
I've been listening to so much punk today. I adore it. Yummy.
I had a "good idea" earlier. I don't even think it's an idea, more an inevitability. Messy stuff haha.
I'm going back to work tomorrow because I'm sick of being sick. It's boring.
I don't know how people can just bum around all the time and do nothing with their lives. Its pathetic.
People should have more drive. It's sad really.
I'm really looking forward to a certain something. Not going to share quite yet though.
Watch this space.
Lagwagon E. Dagger just came on. Oh my god, memories. Happyface.
See you tomorrow.
Night.

I Like To Feed On Broken Hearts

I don't know what everyone else in the world thinks, but when people talk about me; good or bad, I take it as a compliment. I mean, if you have nothing better to do with your time than to think about me and discuss me then it can't be all bad.
Plus, people fail to realise that being "nasty" about me gets them no where.
This amuses me.
I would love it if all the people that have something to say about me actually said it to me.
Because I'd put each and everyone of them in their place, without raising my voice or using an ounce of explicit language.
But most people know this, and therefore avoid telling me, and instead voice their opinions online and things of the such.
And people who know me less well don't because they think I'll "beat them up" or something equally pathetic.
I'm a pacifist. And I've never found myself in a situation where I felt I needed to lower myself to the point of putting in enough effort to physically hurt someone.
Psychological damage is surely far more effective and exciting?

I'm in a truly bizarre mood.
Smug.
Happy.
But also angry at one person for what they are doing to the most important person in my life.
If she'd let me I'd end it all.
But as much as I want to protect her, I have to respect her approach to "dealing" with issues.
Hmm, well I'll just be here to try and make her feel better.

I'm going to see Alice In Wonderland at the cinema with Mark on Friday and I cannot wait. I've been looking forward to seeing it for so long. It's going to be amazing.



I hate being ill, it sucks. It's one thing that I'm truly awful at because I just get so bored. I want to do things, not sit in bed and hope that my appendix doesn't burst. There is little fun in that.
I've been downloading lots of music today as well. Lovely.
I love getting new music, it's so refreshing.
Music brightens up my life when it gets too dull for my own liking.

I'm listening to "you're so last summer" by taking back sunday. It makes me happy.
I'm craving a good, profound, mind-provoking book at the moment, so any ideas feel free to let me know.

Today I think I proved how good of a friend I am. I'll do anything for my friends. I adore each and everyone of them.
Hope Davey, Bryony Hatherley, Rosie Marchant, Lucy Forbes, Terri-Ann Aubrey-Smith, Laura Clutterbuck, Chloe Mabey, Michelle Monahan, Amy Hardie, Jade Bailey, Katie Howard, Nathan Andrews, Lewis Hoare, Cai Davies, Perry Tregale, Tom Weeks.
FSU. For real. Forever.

"We're the ones that chase the sky, take everything from this life. We're the ones that ever die. Nothing's closer to our hearts. We're the ones that sacrifice everything for this one life. We will never fall apart, I know this will last. We've come this far, we'll not let go. We've built this world on hollow ground. We've come this far, we'll not let go. Awaiting a better tomorrow. Nothing can touch us, we stand as one. I will stand by you forever, with this smile, I'll walk on. And I'll stand by you forever, with this smile I wont turn back."

And The Sky Is Deeper Than A Dream ♥

Gaaaahhhhh.
I got sent home from work today because I'm sick.
I made Lucy come and pick me up and she was with my Miss Hope so this made he happy. And then I went to my Grans house and I had a nap. And I was my cousin.
All of these things are good. Minus the illness.
Then I saw my doctor. He is good.
But he said it might be my appendix so now I'm scared.
Shotgun not having ANY operations.
My mummy is making us roast dinner, yum yum.
Miss Hope's hair is purple. IT'S AMAZING. I take full credit.
Besides my lack of health I'm pretty happy.
I want Miss Hope to just live with me. That would be great.
I love her a lot. That is all.



I miss Chlo. Sadface.
Lalala.
MAKE ME BETTER PLEASE.

Cloaked Tightly In Sin

I'm into myself on uncertain terms, I put gin in my milk, it kills all the germs as I pray for the day that life will return and I pray for myself, but I never learn. No I ever learn. See I really like you, but I'm nothing like you. I try oh so hard, but don't get so far. You get my respect but we don't connect, we're in it together so I'll love you forever; I'll love you forever. And so it rains on; no one gives a fuck about the values I would die for, not the faceless civil servants, the rudimentary crack whore. No one gives two fucks about the values I would kill for; give them something to die for. Give me something to die for.
You won't really see me, I live in old movies. Cloaked tightly in sin, so they won't come in; it's like spying on cities through crack in the floor. Thought I knew what the blag was, but now I'm not sure. What do I know anymore?
No one's too perturbed about the things that I would cry for, I've been trying all my life until there's nothing left to try for. No one's too perturbed about the things that I would live for. Give me something to try for.